I was thinking today of how spoiled of a basketball fan I am. I was lucky enough to see the last few years of Michael Jordan's career, and I'm lucky enough to see the entire career of one LeBron James. Now, by the time LeBron's career is over, I most likely will be able to say I saw both of the two best ballers of all time; or at least two of the top five. With that being said, I'm going to take a bit of a different train of thought here.
I was watching Space Jam the other night, and naturally began to wonder: "If LeBron wants to host SNL, host the ESPY's, and become the huge media mogul that ESPN seems so sure that he wants to be, why not make a movie?" And not just a documentary like More Than a Game (the story of LeBron's young basketball career), why not Space Jam 2: Return of the Monstars?
Think about how AWESOME this would be. I don't know about all you readers out there, but Space Jam definitely ranks in my top 10 movies of all time. It has MJ, Larry Bird, Newman from Seinfeld, Bill Murray, Danny DeVito, Muggsy Bogues, Charles Barkley, Shawn Bradley, and Patrick Ewing among others. Plus (HELLO) the Looney Tunes. It doesn't get too much better than that now does it.
Here's how it does:
Cast: MJ=LBJ
Larry Bird=Austin Carr
Newman=Jeff Phelps
Danny DeVito=ESPN's Skip Bayless
Muggsy Bogues=Chris Paul
Charles Barkely=Dwyane Wade
Patrick Ewing=Dwight Howard
Shawn Bradley=Zydrunas
Plot: LeBron retires from basketball (Calm down people it's just a movie) to play football for the Cleveland Browns (see previous parenthetical statement). While LeBron is scoring mad touchdowns, unlike Jordan who didn't fare too well with the baseball thing, the Looney Tunes are in trouble. The Monstars (headed by Skip Bayless) are holding the ACME supply depot hostage, and are demanding the beheading of that ANNOYING Daffy Duck as ransom. The Looney Tunes are stuck with a Catch-22: Either behead Daffy (which they actually might not mind all that much), or die (because obviously Looney Tunes can't live without ACME). Here's the twist though. LeBron has seen Space Jam and as soon as he is kidnapped to Tune Land from his golf outing with AC, he sends the Looney Tunes to round up Paul, Wade, Howard, and Z so that the Monstar's cannot steal their skills. As a result the Monstars are forced instead to steal the skills of NBA scrubs Anthony Carter, Eric Snow, David Wesley, Kwame Brown, and Darko Milicic, and as anti-climactic as it may be, the Looney Tunes (with the help of LBJ and friends) destroy the Monstars 1000-2 (E Snow got a lucky one).
Ok. So no Hollywood studio is going to buy this movie cause it's the exact same plot as the 1st movie with one twist and different celebrities in it, but there's a reason I don't write movies. Feel free to post your ideas with better plots, I just really think a Space Jam-esque movie starring King James would be AWESOME.
